Dear Stanley

It’s the morning of day twenty-two post-op. That means that twenty-two days ago, sometime in the predawn darkness of Sunday, the doctors came into the overly bright waiting room to tell your mother and me that the surgery had been "a battle" but had ultimately gone well. You had a new liver.

Since then you’ve healed, grown sicker, had tubes removed from and added to your body, a million sensors stuck to your little arms and torso—a rainbow spaghetti of wires.

Twenty-two days and still you lie in the pediatric intensive care unit as the doctors chase some phantom infection that’s attacking your body. Virus? Bacteria? They can’t say for sure.

They patiently watch the white blood cell counts rise and fall, the occasional fevers spike and diminish, your respiration grow labored and then calm, the fluctuating fluid levels in your chest cavity. A constant pattern of getting better, then worse, then better. They wait and watch, biding their time until the culprit reveals itself.

The doctors like to tell me that this will all be a bad memory someday. They say that when you’re three and running around and tearing up our apartment this time will seem like a dream. They say that when you and I have our first beer together I’ll tell you all about this and it will seem to you as if it had happened to some other person, some stranger.

I’m telling you this because it’s true—you won’t remember any of what’s happening. Not the viral swabs, the intubation procedures, the catheters, the feeding tubes. None of it.

I actually looked this up because I’d hoped this was the case. I didn’t want you to have to carry this trauma all your life.

It turns out you won’t have your first “autobiographical memory” until age two or three, and even then your brain’s storage and processing capacity will be so weak that much of your first memories will ultimately be lost—a biological mercy.  

You won’t remember these long days, your tiny body propped up in this massive bed.

You won’t remember the nurses saying how jealous they are of your long, beautiful eyelashes.

You won’t remember the respiratory therapist who looked sort of like Adrock and who listened to your chest and declared, “There’s animals in there.” And, after a moment of consideration, his clarification: “Rhinoceroses.”

You won’t remember squeezing my finger as the nurses changed your dressings.

You won’t remember me reading you Harold and the Purple Crayon.

Your mother and I will remember these and many other things for you. We’ll show you the photos we took. We’ll tell you about the long weeks, alternating nights in the hospital, the late-night alarms, the exhaustion. Maybe we’ll dress it up, make it sound funnier than it actually was. Maybe we’ll tease you about all the sacrifices we made for you.

And I imagine you’ll try to listen, try to sympathize, try to connect the baby in the photos and the stories about him to yourself. But I suspect that it will all seem to you like another, distant life. The life of a complete stranger. And, if I’m right, I’ll be so, so thankful. 

I truly value the sort of

I truly value the sort of themes you post here. A debt of gratitude is in order for sharing us an incredible data that is really useful. Great day! tech pr

This is exceptionally

This is exceptionally instructive substance and composed well for a change. It's pleasant to see that a few individuals still see how to compose a quality post! power rangers    

It was a very good post

It was a very good post indeed. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it in my lunch time. Will surely come and visit this blog more often. Thanks for sharing. subway surfers game in

This is exceptionally

This is exceptionally instructive substance and composed well for a change. It's pleasant to see that a few individuals still see how to compose a quality post! temple run egypt game    

I would like to thank you for

I would like to thank you for the efforts you have made in writing this article. I am hoping the same best work from you in the future as well. motu patlu games car    

Your work is very good and I

Your work is very good and I appreciate you for doing great job and hoping for some more valuable posts! chota bheem games best    

The web site is lovingly

The web site is lovingly serviced and saved as much as date. So it should be, thanks for sharing this with us. doraemon games 3d    

I truly cherished perusing

I truly cherished perusing your web journal. It was extremely very much created and straightforward. Not at all like different sites I have perused which are truly not that good.Thanks alot! Leytonstone waxing    

Incredible posting this is

Incredible posting this is from you. I am really and truly thrilled to read this marvelous post. You've really impressed me today. I hope you'll continue to do so! iPhone X Singapore    

Oh wow there are even VR One

Oh wow there are even VR One Headset, thats amazing i wasnt aware of any such offer here but oh well, i still do appreciate this though!!

Okay so i know this wasnt

Okay so i know this wasnt suppose to be here and why you ask, because i read on that it was suppose to be there, so i am very confused right now!